The blasted wedding dress dilemma

I have a folder on my pc which I have aptly named "the blasted dress dilemma" and inside, there are numerous pictures of different dress styles.

I had my wedding dress and I was all happy and stuff until I tried it on again a while ago and suddenly, I felt too much like a cream puff.

My mom agreed to make my dress and all I have to do is decide which style I want. Easy enough, right? Well, not really. You see, when you dance or have danced, you look at dresses a little differently. Is there room for movement? Will I trip and fall over it and land flat on my face? Will I flash all the guests, etc Add "I don't want to look like a cream puff nor do I want to look like a skank" to the list and well, it leaves you a little stuck.

I've asked for help from numerous people to no avail barring one of my friends from overseas and Alan himself who is very keen to tell me what he thinks "would look super hot" and even then, I'm rather perplexed.
Usually my complaint is that I can't find what's in my head but this time, I don't have anything in my head to begin with ;)

Of batter-ing and battering

There is some lovely Fairy Cake mixture sitting in the kitchen cupboard at home and I have yet to make it. Every time I see it, I am always in the middle of doing something else and don't have time to make them.

It does however send me on a cupcake fantasy for days on end and drives me to the point of doing anything to get my hands on a cupcake of any nature. All it takes is one and then I'm fine. Just a mini-fix of cupcake and I'm sorted.

The battering refers to a crazed woman I have had the displeasure of meeting once. She claims that her ex husband hit her. He didn't. She's just crazy and jealous of his new girlfriend. I don't encourage violence of any sort but I can't help thinking that it would be fitting if I made the batter for my Fairy Cakes and then gave him the bowl to pour over her head. That way, she could indeed claim to have been battered! ;)

My hypocritical poem for vegetarians

I am not vegetarian. There are certain things that I don't eat and I understand the benefits of cutting meat out but I also understand the detriments and so, while I don't eat meat every night, I will never give it up completely. I also admit to licking my lips in delight when passing the ostriches near home. Num num num...

So this poem is sort of like promoting vegetarianism and was written to put a little smile onto a vegetarians face should they ever feel the urge to eat everything in MacDonalds. Oh, I cannot take credit for the first line, it's taken from a group on FB called "No dog should be beaten" but it is what inspired the rhyming:

No dog should be beaten
No chick should be eaten
No piggy put into a stew;
No fish should be quartered
No lamb should be slaughtered
Don't eat anything that said "moo"

For meat makes you fart
And is bad for you heart
and will cause you to die very young;
But veg make you stronger
and help you live longer
That said with no cheek in tongue

And tofu is great
'long with veg on your plate
It will make you all the more thinner;
If you cut out all meat
and watch what you eat
You will start to feel more like a winner

The quake and Tsunami in Japan

I am very lucky to live in a country that does not have severe natural disasters. We have our own problems and disasters but nothing on the same scale as the recent events in Japan.

I have been reading and viewing photo and video footage of this and it is truly shocking and horrific.

I cannot begin to imagine the physical and emotional trauma this disaster has left so many people with nor the fear and uncertainty of what's to come.

I may not have anyone from Japan who reads my nonsense but to the people who do, let's keep these people in our thoughts and prayers for what they're going through is beyond most of our comprehension.

Treading lightly

This past weekend I spent virtually all day on Saturday and Sunday strolling through the mall shopping for things, one of them being decent, comfortable shoes.
Buying shoes is the bane of my existence as I have flat feet and most shoes really hurt my feet and I really would just prefer to walk around in socks with soft soles but alas, society frowns upon such things and so do my toes in winter and so I decided that I'd find super comfy shoes and it would be fine.

Now, had I known what I do now, I would've first bought the comfy shoes, put them on and continued doing my shopping. Instead I got sidetracked, shopped for other things, bought the shoes and wore them two days later. The shoes were comfy briefly but not being shoes for flat feet, they didn't help my cause and caused my feet to swell.

This little episode in the wrong shoes caused sever strain on my muscles and then my driving caused more stress on the foot but with the muscles unable to absorb the strain, the strain was on my bones.

I am awaiting the xray report but the dr was quite sure it was a stress fracture. If not, then a torn ligament or muscle.

With one of the rules of these injuries being to not expose the injured limb to the same sort of strain again, it has led me to the same conclusion that I had many, many years ago; I need to be chauffeured and carried around the mall until I find the right shoes.
;)

Everyone has a pig in their life, mine just has 4 legs ;)

One of my friends is a vegetarian and is quite passionate about her vegetarianism. In fact, once she has converted the entire human population, she'll probably start on the wild lions too. It's all in the name of ethics and her objection to the way that animals are treated on production-farms.

We were in a discussion about her lack of pets yesterday and she hauled out her phone and showed us a picture of a tiny little pig with boots on. She said that maybe she would get a pig and put boots on it and take it around on her anti-meat campaign and say to people "How can you eat anything so cute?!" and so it was more for fun, than anything else, that I proceeded to have a quick look this morning online to find her such a piggy. I found one!

Unfortunately, this piggy appealed to me on such a deep level and now we're fetching her tonight and she is going to be added to our little zoo, which is now, really, closed.

She is a one year old miniature pot bellied piggy who is 35cm tall. She grew up with dogs and as a result, thinks that she too, is a dog. She's very cuddly and affectionate according to the lady that has to rehome her for relocation purposes.

I have been reading about how intelligent they are, how they can distinguish between different colours and can be so easily trained.

I have always thought that it would be nice to own a piggy or a cow or an elephant and I am very excited to go and fetch Miss Piggy Porkers and snuggle with her on the couch!

Laughing alone hardly depicts madness

Or at least, I hope not.

I often sit and think about things that have happened and I laugh and laugh and laugh until the tears are rolling down my face and there's nobody else around. I've found it to be better to do this alone as trying to explain what happened or how it looked or sounded in your head doesn't ever come out quite right and you sit looking like a real chop with tears rolling down your face and hardly able to speak from laughter over something seemingly normal.

Today I was sitting and laughing about some of my "escape phone calls" I've had when I would go on dates with new people.
These phone calls were meant to be a possible escape, should I need it.
Most women have these and most men know about them too. In fact, one guy even said to me, when hearing my phone ring, "Is that your "emergency" call?" to which I smiled and replied "Yes, it is." and answered.

What made my calls so funny were the people who phoned me. Never was it a case of "Are you ok? Is he weird? Do you need to run?", it was always a case of something so over the top that it was impossible not to burst out laughing. Now what sort of emergency prompts a person to burst out laughing?!

On one occasion, when I was on a terrible, terrible date with a scarily clingy guy, my cousin phoned me and did her all-too-familiar "HELP!!! FAMILY EMERGENCY!!!" scream into the phone and I packed out laughing and told the guy that I needed to leave as I had a family emergency. He looked very skeptical and said "Then why are you laughing?" to which all I could think of was to say "It's the shock."

One of the most difficult phone calls I've had to keep a straight face through was when one of my friends phoned me and pretended to be totally drunk to the point that he couldn't walk and needed me to carry him to his car!

Before I started with the phone calls, I'd get some of my friends to "spy" on me from a table nearby if I didn't know the guy very well.

This also had it's problems as they'd sit and make loud, hilarious comments or send me texts with comments about my dates taste in clothes or his bald spot or whatever.

One guy seemed to know a lot about women and their phone calls or "spies' and told me that I was welcome to bring my bodyguards and so I did just that, I brought 3 of my lovely female friends with me and we all had a date with him. He had a great sense of humour and he even invited us all for a second date :)

It's not meant to be nasty, it's meant for safety. If you go on a date with someone you don't know that well and it goes sour, you know that someone knows where you are, who you're with and will phone you to make sure you're ok.

I did this when I met Al too and he didn't even realise that we were being followed around by one of my friends. Maybe I should do it again with Alan, just for kicks and have someone phone me and tell me that something ludicrous has happened and that I need to leave right away. He'll probably look at me as if I've lost my marbles and I'll sit in absolute hysterics and will look like a chop.

When life gets boring, it's nice to do silly things so that you have something to laugh at later when life gets boring again.