Thursday, April 7, 2011

To dance or to give in to nonsense

I have been doing some style of Latin and Ballroom dancing since 2005, barring this year and last year, apart from the odd dancing jaunt or two. Starting in May, I am going back. Now Al is meant to be coming along with me but he's so shy and feels a fool dancing in front of other people.

This poses the problem of how he'd manage to dance in front of our guests.

Al would ideally like to do something totally silly instead that involves a game of leapfrog or hopping on one foot or the chicken dance and well, as much as I see the, um, appeal, of this, I'd rather not. But I do believe in compromise so we may, just may, incorporate some pure nonsense into our formal dance. Ideas are most welcome! :)

Friday, April 1, 2011

On a different wave-length. May offend some - apologies

I wrote this quite a while back when I was having a particularly bad day and was finding my patience and curiosity wearing a little thin:

Are you vibrating at the right frequency? Are you able to see everyone around you? Even the people you shouldn't be able to see? Were you aware that the balloon hoaxes a while back were actually aliens and people were just trying to fool us all by telling us that they were balloons? Fools! How silly did they think we all are?!

I am here, on this planet, at my desk, on this third dimensional frequency to tell you, yes, you, that the world is changing. We are all going to become invisible and use telepathy instead of cell phones.

Now, if your kettle just broke, or your toaster, or you're getting a new phone for Christmas, then, well, your life is going to suck. You will have endless trouble with the new one. This is regardless of the manufacture date or the brand or the shop or your man-handling the product. It will suck because Mercury is moving backwards. Yes, backwards. It shifts gear sometime next week and you'd better be all stocked up on electrical appliances by then because you won't be able to buy a decent appliance until 4 January!

Now, please, tell me how to respond to this?! All I managed was "Thank you. That's something to think about."

I have never wanted to throw watermelons at somebody so badly! To clobber them on the head with a rolling pin and to send them to REHAB!!! Oh my soul, there's respecting people's beliefs but when you claim that they can be substantiated by hard evidence and the evidence turns out to be complete rubbish every time (I check...EVERY TIME), then you need to stand back and go "I am a loon and I need help!"

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Nudity

This is posted directly from an email sent to the bridal party and Alan and one or two of the guests out of frustration. Tessa was nice enough to send me some links though and she didn't even get the email! :) Thanks, Tess!

Dear people

I give up! There are too many dress options and I'm so confused and it's just never going to end and I'm stressing and the only help I'm getting is from my friend overseas who can send me a few links but nothing else. Therefore, I will be going naked. But that's not all..so will you. Yes, that's right! Naked. You. Naked. Everyone naked. There! :)

The most awesome things in the world

Firstly, did you know that if you hold in some or other key on your keyboard and simultaneously type "the most awesome things in the world", it will take you straight into the screen that allows you to change your gmail password? Nor did I until now!

I don't subscribe to consumerism, am seldom taken in by marketing but when I find something fantastic, I like to share in my findings with other people in case they too were looking for the exact same thing or maybe even have my suggestion make their lives so totally awesome forever!

O.k, so in no particular order and with no particular section, here it all is:

Makeup - Kryolan. If you're so pale, you're transparent, or even if you're not, this stuff is friggin' marvellous! The foundation has adjustable coverage and is best applied using a wet sponge so that you don't look like a painting. Their powder is weather-proof and you can swim and just dab your face afterwards and your make-up is still in tact. It's non-comedogenic so it doesn't block your pores. It also comes in 300 shades and is more cost effective than any Clicks or Dischem bought product!

Lip-ice - Amilab. This stuff smells edible. It's vanilla fragrance and you just apply it once a day and your lips feel far better and moisturized than they ever have. it's about 3 times the price of normal lip-ice but it lasts way longer because you use less. Hard to find though. It's made by Merck.

Foodie stuffs - Global Wrapps ostrich piquante wrapp. Ostrich is lower is saturated fats and tastes way better than beef. The only catch is that it's drenched with mozzarella cheese which shoots that cholesterol right back up there but it isn't too rich as the peppadews break the rich, fattiness and make it oh so yummy!

More foodie stuffs - Danish feta. I love cheese. I could eat cheese all day. I have no idea what my cholesterol is and quite honestly, I'm scared to find out. Danish feta is not crumbly like Greek feta, it absolutely melts in your mouth and is super creamy. Divine!

Cool websites - I've discovered buying stuff online way after everyone else has and I have tremendous fun finding cool stuff to buy. Two websites I discovered were www.wicount.co.za and www.mycitydeal.co.za
Both do the same thing, they offer huge discounts on food or items and you buy the voucher and book with the relevant place or just pitch up and you get it at like 60 or 70% less than what you would've paid. I've booked two full body massages, dinner for two and now recently, I got the free voucher from Global Wrapps.
There are a few others too but I prefer these two.
I have to mention www.theweddingshop.co.za too for those getting married. Full of great decor and favours ideas.
And lastly, for textbooks www.kalahari.net

Socks - Woolies super thick socks!

More makeup - Mac's shimmer powder. It doesn't bronze you and make you look orange, just makes you look healthy. Fake health, yes ;)

Hand cream - Nivea anti-age hand cream. Much more nourishing and not greasy and oily.

Face cream - Environ or Salon Care. Salon care is very nice and non-irritating and is very cost effective. Environ is better but not as cost effective.

Checkers Hyper - The best place to buy groceries!

Clarens in the Eastern Freestate - A mini world of art galleries and incredible food and romantic atmosphere and gorgeous, gorgeous scenery. Love it! And only 3.5 hours from Joburg!

Dancing Shoes - The Dance Emporium in Eastgate. They always have gorgeous styles at competative prices.

Lego - Apparently ;)

Um, that's all I can think of.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Life lessons, interesting chats and ridiculous concerns

I think about a lot a lot. It helps to write it down so that I can either find the answer or to stop thinking about it. I hate obsessing over rubbish but I often don't remember what I was obsessing about when I'm ready to write it down until I have nowhere to write it down and then I remember. So, this post could change over time.

Concerns - What if I get so freaked out walking down the aisle with everyone staring at me that I vomit? Worse yet, what if I vomit on someone? Even worse, what if I vomit on someone importantly important? Ja, I know, so silly. No doubt about whether or not I'm marrying the right person (I know I am marrying the right person), it's all about vomiting. Lovely.

Life lesson - Pigs battle to climb up and down stairs as their trotters are like high heels and so if they need to pee, they may go on the stairs. This does not mean that women, or anyone wearing heels for that matter, should ever pee on the stairs.

Interesting chats - Someone I know mailed me yesterday to say how happy he is to have remembered who he is. I suppose we all forget sometimes. Some because they got lost in the humdrum of everyday life and some because they took drugs and took the wrong train and got hit on the head.

Concern - What if I suck more doing "the sprinkler" than Al would doing Salsa? I'm not very good with my elbows, they haven't been used in many of my dance moves.

Life lesson - Eating a secret stash of sweeties where you keep your scissors is going to get you caught when other people ask to borrow them and then kindly just put them back once they're done.

Interesting chats - I had a chat to someone recently about positive self-reinforcement. They need a CD where someone tells them how awesome they are. Applicants with a deeper female voice are preferable. This could be a fun CD to make and I would but my voice is high pitched and squeaky.

Concern - What if person sitting over there never actually goes on the date with person sitting over there there? He is rather peculiar and she is rather sensitive which may not be the best combo but he's said something now so...

Life lesson - Don't leave a pig and the domestic worker alone together when the pig is on heat. The pig will chase the domestic worker all over the garden while she runs screaming in terror.

Interesting chats - O.k, well, more stuff I read about. I love to read about stuff and then tell people about it. Nobody actually listens but I tell them anyway. So I read stuff about how people's bodies synthesize alcohol and about what happens when your fiance becomes a Dutch citizen before you get married and tutorials on taking photos with a decent camera and about how people complain about UNISA's modules.

Life lessons - Mosquitoes are attracted to feet. If there is a colony of mosquitoes living in your sock drawer, you need to question whether or not your socks are actually being washed or just shoved back in.

Interesting chats - I had a chat with someone about lucid dreaming and certain theories that it is possible to manipulate your dreams while in this state. Very interesting but a bit "out there". It turned out that neither of us know enough to really explore the topic and so we gave up fumbling around in the dark together.

Life lessons - People are scared of pigs. I'm scared someone will eat the piggy if we give it to the wrong person.

Interesting chats - After telling everyone that we are having a naked wedding (not really), our MC mailed me and was all for it and asked if he could assess the guests beforehand in lingerie. I agreed. So far, nobody has offered any pics. Strange that ;) What's even more strange is that nobody has even objected to attending a wedding in the buff! A little worrying actually...

The Zoo

I absolutely love animals. Not like one of those fake people who just love the idea of loving animals who own a dog and pat it on the head on the way inside and that's all the attention it gets or one of those people who could just not bear to have an animal but they love them anyway, nope, I genuinely love my animals and them me.

My fiance, Alan, finds this a little bit much at times and should I eye out any kitty or puppy, he looks and me and sternly says "No, babe! The zoo is closed!"

Our zoo consists of 4 cats, 2 dogs and a piggy. The piggy will be off to a new home soon though as leaving her unsupervised with the dogs isn't a great idea but we'll have full visiting rights.

It is perhaps strange that I have never written much about my animals before as they are such an integral part of my life and each one has their own unique and often amusing personality.

The 4 cats consist of Bean, Sprout, Mo(hammed) and Katastrofes. All of them exceptionally loving and sweet but some stand out a little more.

Sprout, for example, is on life number 6. Not the brightest kitty, she's trapped herself in a roller garage door, on a barbed-wire fence, dived into Alan's bowl of ice-cream (and my face a week later) and is generally just very accident prone. She's always incredibly happy though and you'd swear that she's had the easiest life ever.

Katastrofes is a ventriloquist. She is the only cat I've ever seen who is able to meow with her mouth completely closed.

Mo is the only male cat and the youngest of them. Mo is extremely clever and when he was very little, I decided to see if I could train him to do something interesting. Mo now jumps into the empty bath (although he didn't always check first when he was younger) and reaches up to the side of the bath and pulls the plug down into the bath for me to put in the hole (he's only accomplished putting it into the hole 2 or 3 times himself) and give him water. He also lets us bath him in warm water and loves to play with the dogs. Mo unfortunately only has between 2 and 5 months to live due to cat leukemia but we are doing everything we can to keep him happy and make him comfortable.

My two dogs are very attached to me and me to them and they even sleep with me in my bed, often hogging the blankets and sharing my pillow and snoring little doggy snores (or LOUD doggy snores) in my ear.

Fatty is a chow-cross and is as naughty as they come. She loves everyone and everything and is ready to play with any potential burglars. Having grown up with cats, she believes with all her doggy heart that she too is a kitty and she shows this by clearing our dining room table, lying on top of the couch back rest and clouting the cats, pig and other dog, with her big paws.

Gubbels is a sausage dog. Not a mini, a normal size sausage. This dog has an endless supply of "kisses" for anyone and is exceptionally possessive of Al and I and will do whatever it takes to sit on our laps, even if Fatty or the cats are there already.

These animals are my furry children and I love them with every fibre of my being and I just wanted to share a little bit of the joy that they bring to me every day :)

The blasted wedding dress dilemma

I have a folder on my pc which I have aptly named "the blasted dress dilemma" and inside, there are numerous pictures of different dress styles.

I had my wedding dress and I was all happy and stuff until I tried it on again a while ago and suddenly, I felt too much like a cream puff.

My mom agreed to make my dress and all I have to do is decide which style I want. Easy enough, right? Well, not really. You see, when you dance or have danced, you look at dresses a little differently. Is there room for movement? Will I trip and fall over it and land flat on my face? Will I flash all the guests, etc Add "I don't want to look like a cream puff nor do I want to look like a skank" to the list and well, it leaves you a little stuck.

I've asked for help from numerous people to no avail barring one of my friends from overseas and Alan himself who is very keen to tell me what he thinks "would look super hot" and even then, I'm rather perplexed.
Usually my complaint is that I can't find what's in my head but this time, I don't have anything in my head to begin with ;)