Brazillian Blowout

I have long debated and researched the Brazillian Blowout because I have wavy frizz-prone hair.

What it basically is is Keratin protein which seals your hair cuticles, thus reducing the frizz and nourishing your hair to make it super shiny and manageable. It also makes your hair straight, or considerably less wavy. This isn't done by the Keratin but instead by a very small portion (2% or less) of Formaldehyde. Yes, you read right, formaldehyde. Toxic? Well, yes BUT they don't apply it directly to your scalp and there are small quantities of formaldehyde in everyday cleaning products anyway. While the hairdressers will insist that their product is formaldehyde-free, it is not. It contains a derivative of formaldehyde but as it's 2% or less, they can declare it "Formaldehyde-free." Oh, for those who might not know, formaldehyde is what they use to preserve dead people in.

So this was my experience:

I went to the hairdresser, a little nervous about the effects some people have experienced when they heat the product as it emits fumes which are dangerous should there be insufficient ventilation. They were great though and answered all my questions and reassured me. The hairdressers, not the fumes.

First they washed my hair with shampoo that felt like it stripped my hair terribly. I had to sit with that on for 20 minutes. The shampoo removes all the build-up and natural oils from your hair so that the product can penetrate the hair shaft.

Next they applied the product which smelt a little like oranges. They then gave me a dust mask, as I'm asthmatic, and told me to close my eyes while they dried my hair almost completely with a hairdryer.
Once my hair was almost dry, they flat-ironed each section 10 times. There were two working on my head at once so it took about an hour in total to do the whole treatment.

Once they had flat-ironed my hair, it was back to the basin where they washed and conditioned my hair with Sulphate-free shampoo and conditioner. They dried it brushing it occasionally with a normal hairbrush and my hair was dead straight and super shiny and my hair colour was more vibrant!

I then went and bought some sulphate-free shampoo from Dischem, as the hairdresser's is significantly more expensive and does the same thing, and some nice conditioner. The sulphates are just a cheap foaming agent but they strip colour from your hair and dry it out quite badly and can even contribute to hairloss.

I have since tried just leaving my hair to dry with no heat to tame it and it dries with the slightest wave and hardly any frizz. I love it!

Most of these treatments require 4 days of no washing your hair or tying it up or wetting it but not this one, I was able to go home and wash my hair immediately if I so desired. It did start pouring with rain as they were blow-waving my hair at the end so I left with a packet tied around my head much to the amusement of the patrons in the beauty section having their nails done. I suppose saying "Thanks so much! I really love it!" to the hairdresser while you stand there with a packet on your head is rather amusing.

It is a pretty pricey treatment but it lasts for 3-6 months. I admittedly didn't pay full price for mine and there are always specials on these treatments so if you have it done, shop around first.

I would recommend this to anyone who battles with their hair but do your research and know what your lungs or eyes can and can't handle as far as toxic fumes go. Some people get sick but honestly, I felt fine.

It just seems to go on and on...

On Friday, I spent most of my day in fits of giggles that this whole midget saga had continued to the point of making front page news.

This morning I received two emails, one from the journalist who had published the story, for an ad on human growth hormones, and one from Brett, the advertiser on gumtree who originally requested a midget, saying that he was interviewed on the radio this morning.

I went to the radio's website (www.jacarandafm.com) and found a podcast and a write-up on the midget story. I didn't get to hear the actual interview with Brett, just the part where the radio had found a midget to go to Brett's work to kick him!

The midget went into his building and into the office he believed to be Brett's and ran in and kicked him in the shins a few times and said "This is from your ex-girlfriend!" only to discover that he had kicked the wrong guy! I was almost crying from laughter listening to this!

Brett's ex had been following this entire saga and loved every moment of it and was missing him, according to him. I asked if he was going to demand that she bake him something from every page in the expensive baking book he'd bought her before he considered taking her back to which he replied that he wouldn't take her back but would like lots of baked goods. Look out for his next gumtree post on looking for baked goods.

Should you be a maker of baked goods, consider the poor heartbroken guy and send him a tray or two. You could just make the papers!

The Midget Story - my 15 minutes

I'll cut a long story short and will simply post the article published in todays Star Newspaper. I never thought it would go this far but anyway, the result is rather amusing:


Wanted: a midget to kick ex-lover
March 2 2012 at 07:40am
By THERESA TAYLOR

Comment on this story


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www.gumtree.co.za


A Joburg man has taken to an online forum to request that a midget kick his ex-girlfriend. And he’s quite upset that he isn’t being taken seriously.

Despite the advert being viewed over 2 500 times on the Gumtree website since Monday (the same day his ex ended the relationship) the man, known only as Brett, says he has received replies from the obese and women armed with heels, but no willing little people.

“I was recently dumped and require the services of a midget to go and kick my ex-girlfriend in the shins whilst she is at work,” reads Brett’s bizarre Gumtree advert.

“All you need to do is go into the shop, kick her once (not too hard) in the shin, and leave. I’ll supply all the details needed if you are hired.”

He adds that a friend requires a midget to do flick-flacks and breathe fire at their wedding.

During a phone interview with The Star on Thursday, Brett seemed appalled at the suggestion that his advert might be a joke.

“I clearly took it out because I want my ex-girlfriend to be kicked in the shins,” he said. “Midget revenge is the only form of revenge that works these days.”

He rejected the assertion that his actions were discriminatory towards little people. “F*** if I care,” he said. “They know they are midgets. I’m not being politically correct about this.”

He took a similar stance on violence. “Violence would be if I asked the midget to kick her hard and then set her on fire.”

Brett, who works for a Sandton marketing company, said on Sunday, the day before he was dumped, had been his ex’s birthday. They had been dating for two months and he had bought her an expensive baking book. But when she dumped him, he couldn’t take it back because he had written her name in it.

This delightful young man, who claims to have the body of Brad Pitt and the personality of “everyone awesome ever”, did receive a response to his advert, which he rejected.

A woman called Audrey replied, thinking the advert was a joke. She said she was relatively short and had spiky heels she could use to hit Brett’s ex.

“Sometimes I’ve bad days and perhaps giving someone a mild kicking would help,” she added. Brett said: “If you’re not a midget, you’re a waste of time and space. Sorry. Declined.”

After a lengthy e-mail interchange between the two in which clowns and making people cry was discussed, Audrey decided Brett was more rude than funny. She posted the following response advert on Gumtree.

“A very angry man recently dumped is suffering from severe anger issues and in need of some serious therapy. He also has midget fetishes and as a result is suffering from poor social skills and needs some help to adjust into normal society.

“Please help this poor man to get over his issues as there aren’t many midgets out there and he’ll end up feeling lost and lonely.”

Brett claims he is a serious man and continues to seek an answer to his advert. - The Star.


I have since received numerous responses to my own gumtree ad and they've been very funny :)

I often think that we get bored because we just sit there and let things happen around us and life is always more interesting if we create memories. I just didn't think that this would be one of those times :D

The miraculous return of the Sausage

On Tuesday last week, I arrived home to find Gub, my sausage dog, missing. Naturally I ran all over the complex calling and up and down the road and then we drove around a fair bit and called and eventually we had to come home where I sat and cried for 2 hours and then went to bed.

The next day I woke up determined to find my puppy. I phoned the SPCA and the nearby vets and made posters for him, which my friend, Mel, helped me to erect on trees and stop signs, etc.

I had just about given up when the SPCA told me that a tan sausage had been handed in on the Thursday morning. I rushed over there first thing on Saturday morning convinced it would be my precious little sausage dog only to discover that it wasn't. I was ready to fall to pieces all over again.

I made a decision that I needed to find Fatty a buddy because she was so lonely and pining too terribly and then if Gub came back, we'd just have 3 dogs. As I was driving around looking for a suitable puppy, Mel phoned me telling me that she thinks she'd found Gub.

Gub had been let out by the garden service and had then been let out of the main gate and, being scared of the thunder, had run to a nearby house where there were other dogs. The owner of the house had taken him inside and in that time period, Melissa's dad had gone to visit this man, unaware of any missing sausage. The owner of the house had then taken Gub with him to a pub, seeing as his dogs wanted to kill Gub, and had left him with the bar owners.

Gub hung out at the pub for a few days sleeping on a blanket and befriending all the patrons until a waitress decided that she was going to take him home to the next town.

Mel then went to visit her parents on Saturday morning and told them how Gub was missing and her dad piped up and said that he knew where Gub was! He phoned his friend who phoned the pub who gave the number of the waitress out and so Mel phoned me and we phoned the waitress and jumped in the car and drove to fetch him!

I was so very relieved to have Gub back as was Fatty!

The back gate has since been secured closed and locked and we've decided to rather get a gardener in and pay him than use the complex garden service as they almost cost us our mini-woof!

We're all on drugs. Yep you too, did you know?

Apparently. Yes, apparently having any sort of anxiety or going to make coffee or to the bathroom or blinking too many times or having a cold or anything whatsoever that isn't regarded as 100% "normal" means that a person is on drugs.

I am so annoyed and sick of this. How can a person, who probably is on drugs themselves, or most certainly was, accuse everyone else who is carrying on as any other person would or are responding to the circumstances in a way that they feel best, accuse others of being on drugs?! Behind their backs too!

It's projecting in my opinion. Projecting what they themselves are/were guilty of because they cannot fathom any other reasonable explanation for the absolute normality of the situation.
Today, I said something back. I said "Person blah blah, you think everyone's on drugs!" and they just said nothing.

Maybe we should all go on drugs, it would certainly help us to cope better with these wild accusations! Then again, maybe the accuser should go on drugs; Psychiatric drugs that will prevent the paranoia and delusional behaviour we're all subjected to every day!

Bullying disguised as "I'm just trying to help you."

Have you ever experienced one of those people who will point out all your faults, mistakes, flaws and make a big deal out of nonsense because they're "just trying to help you?" Do not be fooled! Do not stop and think "I am so pathetic and useless and awful and so-and-so is so wonderful because they have all the answers and are so nice because they're really trying to help me!"
If you start thinking that way, stop, take your hand, lift it up, move it as far back behind your head as you can and bring it around hard and fast and land it on your cheek! Sore? Well, it's just the literal version of what they, and you, are doing to you.

I've said this before, but deleted it after 5 minutes and now after some consideration and discussion with many people who seem to face this problem day in and day out, I can no longer keep quiet.

We all make mistakes, we all have flaws, we are human. It's not a free pass to mess up as often as possible but it does warrant a little something called encouragement and motivation. Through this, we tend to focus more and feel more enthusiastic about what we're doing and make fewer errors.

Motivation is a driving force behind productivity and productivity is what we're all, essentially, aiming for. How one is motivated is different to how another is motivated but there is one way that NOBODY is motivated and that is by screaming, name calling and overwhelming someone. This builds anger, resentment, unhealthy stress levels and a complete lack of motivation. It's obvious, why would anyone want to do anything for anyone who is horrible to them?

Trying to scare the living daylights out of someone to get results seldom ends in a good finished product either.

If you're subject to someone like this, don't get upset and annoyed and angry at this person, instead take some refuge in the fact that they know no better than to bully others to get their way. You should feel sorry for them in their lack of social skills and lack of common sense. Nobody likes a bully, shame they're so unliked. And then you move on and realise that while you may/may not have to tolerate them, you can control how much they get to you with their rubbish.

If you really can't handle it and have tried to explain how their behaviour is destructive and upsetting to no avail, move on, cut them out, change your phone number and never look back.

Guest Post - Tam

Auds asked all her friends for guest posts about anything we pleased and threw out random suggestions. Luckily Di and I have never had an incident with jam, or anything else...

I think I shall talk about activities. See, my boyfriend and I do Ballroom and Latin American dancing and he climbs and I sometimes climb when the heights are not too daunting and I'm feeling brave (not often - I stay on the ground and take pictures or belay - yes Gawie, I can now belay). So how does one combine these activities to find something that works for me, encourages fitness and builds strength (so the climbing will no longer be scary)? The answer - Pole Fitness!

No, I do not pole dance in nothing but a thong and those weird stick on things! (I don't know whether my mother in-law believes me) The strength work involved in pole dancing is used to create an aerobic and weight work out that leaves you exhausted and stiff (no pun intended). And if you don't believe that it's a real workout, go YouTube Zoraya Judd. She has a six pack that would scare most body builders.

So yes... I recently took up pole fitness and it's been fun. A tough ride for those of us who are not terribly fit and have no upper body strength to speak of, but it's worth every moment of struggle. And let's not even talk about the bruises....

Anyway, check it out if there's a studio near you. It's addictive


And that's me
Tamarah Johnstone-Robertson