Thursday, July 28, 2011

Sleeping with your eyes open

Have you ever woken up in the morning and your eyes were burning and were so super dry and yet there was nothing actually wrong with your eyes? I experience it a lot. It turns out that I'm probably sleeping with my eyes open. Freaky! Especially, you might find this weird that I think like this but anyway, imagine if a burglar broke in and strolled into your room where you should, for your own safety, pretend to be asleep (or hide behind the door with the dresser chair or bedside table in hand or even the entire dresser if you're strong enough or have enough adrenaline pumping through your veins. I think I'd manage the dresser, I'm capable of truly amazing things when my adrenaline is going.) but there you are with your eyes wide open staring into space. Maybe he'd think you were dead. That might not be a bad thing. But then again, what if he didn't and actually just thought you were awake and watching him? Yes, anyway, if you have an answer to the this dilemma, please let me know.

So today I didn't feel so well. I have some sort of weird bug. I thought it was gone and I went nuts and ate some pizza and some steak and some sweets and some more sweets and then this morning it hit me all again. The medicine was just really good and kept all my symptoms at bay.

Today I took some different medicine and man, it made me so drowsy and made me feel so disconnected from the world that I felt as if I was sleeping with my eyes open. I have a vague recollection of Di being super upset and me suggesting that we go for a walk during lunch. We did so and now I have a packet with a pink Spongebob Squarepants T-Shirt in it in size super small, which must mean it's for me. Di has the exact same T-Shirt. It was retail therapy for her I suspect but I can't quite remember. The T-shirt is very cute though, I would wear it.

Only now, when it's time to pack up and go home, do I feel more awake and STARVING! So starving that fat people are starting to look like hamburgers and thin people like hot dogs. Did anyone else see that cartoon? Loved it!

This isn't really a story but it does have a moral, lock your house properly just in case, hide your purse before you take nausea medication and make sure that you have nothing urgent on for that day.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Found - something to lighten the load

Have you ever found yourself around people who absolutely thrive on drama? Does it exhaust and upset you? Do you ever just long for quiet normality? A big reason I moved to Cape Town in 2006 was to escape from this type of thing.
The problem is that there are so many people out there who will bring the drama into your life no matter where you are, and so I found this online post by Scott Kalechstein and it made me laugh and laugh. I wouldn't send it to anyone who was highly dramatic as it would just create, well, more drama! :) Enjoy the read:


Humor: The Seven Habits of Highly Dramatic People by Scott Kalechstein
The Seven Habits Of Highly Dramatic People
By Scott Kalechstein

Do gratitude, contentment, and inner peace sometimes creep up on you and undermine your ability to indulge your anxiety?

Here’s a quick and handy two-step process to make sure you get your M.D.R. (minimum daily requirements) of worry and chaos.

1. Believe and act like your safety, security, and happiness are dependent on people and forces outside of you that you can’t control.
2. Try to control them.

For those of you who prefer to keep it complex, here are seven habits to develop that will help you go deeper into your practice and guarantee a daily overdose of adrenaline. Allow me to be your drama director as we shout out the traditional opening words… “Lights! Camera!! RE-ACTION!!!"

#1. Harness The Power Of Negative Thinking – Everybody accentuates the negative on occasion. What if I can’t pay my bills? What if I lose my house? What if I get sick? What if I’m alone for life? What if I’m in this relationship for life? But as your drama coach, I want to inspire you to master 'The Secret' by focusing all of your attention on the most negative possible outcomes all of the time. When this discipline has been achieved, you can relax into the certainty that you will always find something to freak out about in any situation, and fear will never abandon you again.

#2. Be Busy Till You’re Dizzy – Being too busy to still your mind and take good care of your body is essential on the path to drama-realization. Temptation is everywhere these days - health food stores, spas, gyms, yoga studios, meditation classes, and it takes courage to maintain abstinence while the whole world is stretching, sweating, chanting, and going organic. Remember, as our parents tried to warn us, engaging in meditation can lead to blindness, losing sight of all the things right in front of you to worry about. So wake up every morning painfully early, splash cold water on your face, brew up your caffeine, and go, speed racer, go! Have you answered all your emails? Who needs a shoulder to lean on? Is there something on TV? Always make sure your life and your mind are filled with clutter and free of those annoying empty spaces between your thoughts that can disturb your absence of peace.

#3. Have A Swinging Good Time – In the 60's and 70's, a swinger was a person who relieved the monotony of monogamy by attending a variety of extra-curricular relationships. Nowadays, the term swingers has broadened, and is often used to refer to drama majors when they are found swinging like a pendulum from one extreme to another, churning with the thrill of constant crises, skillfully sidestepping the boredom of emotional stability. Would you like to be able to create, at the snap your fingers, a soap opera drenched in drama anytime you want? All you need to do is to stuff your feelings till you can’t hold them in any longer, and then explode without restraint or care for anyone, especially the ones you care most about. As a practice, try being 100% nice and sweet. Stretch yourself to accommodate someone as much and as long as you can, and then take the lid off and let the steam out, like Mt. Saint Helens does once in a while. There is nothing as satisfying as having a good eruption after being good and silent for a spell.

#4. Leave Your Inner Child Alone Without Parental Guidance – When the child inside the adult gets scared, some really juicy drama can happen, but only if we withhold our compassion, re-assurance, and loving boundaries. When we can resist such mushy self-help nonsense, our inner children will wreak havoc trying to get those things from others, usually through some very exciting acting out in the drama department. When two or more people abandon their little kids at the same time, oh boy, that’s when the fun begins. The adults have left the vehicle, and you can guess who’s in the front seat, banging on the horn, flooding the accelerator, yelling out the window, and playing extreme bumper cars. Yippee!

#5. Set Huge Goals, Maintain Unrealistic Expectations – There is nothing more beneficial to your lifestyle than the habit of reaching for the stars, falling short of your lofty goals, and feeling like a colossal failure. Taking big leaps and falling flat on your face is paramount for maintaining healthy low self-esteem, which is the foundation of all good drama. Go for the mountaintop, and don’t look down at your feet on your way. One step at a time is for people satisfied with proceeding at a snail’s pace, always leaving behind a slime trail of serenity, gentleness, balance, and other dismal downers that drama kings and queens take royal pains to avoid. You can do better than that!

#6. Judge Your Judgments – Every human being judges, but only the ones who have learned the art of judging their own judgments excel in creating melodrama. Have you ever been known to shame and blame yourself for feeling afraid and stuck, telling yourself that there is something really wrong with you for not moving forward? Good! You are on the right track. Now, take your next step. Judge your judgments! Tell yourself that you should know better than to shame and blame yourself. Heap truckloads of guilt on yourself for stooping so low to the curb of self-criticism, yet again. This will make you quite an energetic downer that can’t help but suck energy from those around you. You’ll be the lifelessness of the party!

#7. Get Grounded In The 3 B’s…. Blame, Blame, & Blame – Blaming yourself has already been covered. But don’t rest there. Blame everyone else too. Life’s not going the way you want? Blame, blame, blame! Blame first, ask questions and take responsibility later, if at all. Appropriate targets are Mom and Dad, friends (if you still have any), your mate (if they are still around), the Bush administration, the Clinton administration, big corporations, small minds, and, of course, God. Self-responsibility can lead to issues finding solutions, which flushes good drama right down the drain. Instead, be generous with the blame dispenser, letting it overflow on everyone, uncontained, uncensored, unedited. Blame, Blame, Blame!

Affirmations For Good Drama

Every day in every way I am stressing out over everything, real or imagined.

Everything is working together to conspire to bring the worst possible outcome to my doorstep.

Life is against me and I am doomed.

This, or something worse, is now manifesting for the highest cost to all concerned.

I no longer have to work to create drama. Drama happens effortlessly and naturally, all around me.

Whatever calamity I can conceive, I can achieve.

I always have everything I need to manifest everything I don’t want, and all is hell in my world.

Copyright 2008 Scott Kalechstein, All Rights Reserved

Friday, July 22, 2011

The Ultimate Compromise

Some men just have it in them to jump onto a dance floor and look terrific. Some don't but do it anyway. But some just refuse to dance at all. Al is one of these people. Now while he swears blindly that we are doing a dance at our wedding that we'll rehearse and look good doing, I have yet to see him practice.

He either pretends to be sleeping, says that he'll do it later or is super nice to me in the hopes of getting out of it. I never force him and I've even given him the option of not doing the first dance ourselves but he insists that he wants to.

So, I did a little research yesterday and found a solution, which he has now agreed to... I have found dancing lessons that are held at a pub! Not just any pub, Alan's favourite pub! I could not believe it! It truly was the ultimate compromise! We start on Tuesday :)

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

A hint of panic

Every wedding has it's hiccups and little problems, it's normal and to be expected and if a person plans with lots of time to spare, things can easily be resolved and worries cast aside. Besides, what's "The perfect wedding" anyway? What's perfect to some aint so perfect to others and what is disastrous for some goes completely unnoticed by others. So with this in mind, I don't panic about things. As long as I have a general idea of what's happening when and how much it all costs and deal with any sudden changes, it's all good.

Yesterday the lady who was going to make my dress at the end of this month just vanished. She was a very good seamstress and she was reasonable too. This caused a very slight panic as I now need to find someone who does a decent job at sewing and won't charge the earth to make my dress.

It took me so long to decide what I actually wanted in my dress and now I've got my heart set on it and I'm determined to find someone and not just settle for what I don't mind too much. That said, if anyone knows of any good dressmakers in Johannesburg, please, please let me know! I'm getting as many quotes and looking at as many portfolios as I can.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Wedding nightmares!!!

I have heard of people freaking out about all sorts of things before a wedding and well, I haven't been. We still have some hiccups but nothing that we can't resolve in plenty of time. Well, I haven't been worrying consciously anyway but apparently, unconsciously, I have. (When I refer to "unconsciously" I mean it in the sense of sleeping and in the sense of my subconscious.)
I have been having wedding nightmares! They're all really silly actually and are quite funny when I think about them afterwards but in the actual dream, they're not funny at all.

The most vivid thus far has been about someone taking my makeup and hair accessories out of the bag with everyone Else's and my dress miraculously changing sizes and my shoes vanishing. I was begging one of my bridesmaids to please just let me use her comb and she just looked at me and said "No,it's my comb!I'm using it, you can't use it!" and so I ended up tying my hair in half a pony using my fingers to "brush" my hair, I donned some sort of little, white pumps and my over sized dress and skipped down the aisle by myself with Alan seated on a chair at the bottom of the aisle laughing at me.

I had a quick look online to see if I'm alone as my friends also going through the wedding planning experience for their weddings coming up shortly, are not experiencing these things. I found that I was far from alone and most of them are very, very funny:

"In my dream, we'd just arrived at the church when we realized that I had nothing to wear for the ceremony. Just as I was about to have to walk down the aisle in my undergarments, my mom declared, 'Wait! I'll make you one!' So she ran to the bathroom and got several rolls of toilet paper. In a matter of seconds, she had fashioned a dress together out of it. So I got married in my toilet paper dress, and my dream had a happy ending!"


"I had a dream that I was about to walk down the aisle with my father when another girl shot out right in front of me and started walking down the aisle. Everyone stood up and burst into smiles as the girl walked toward my fiance. My fiance then took her hand and the ceremony began. I just stood at the back of the church with my father and watched it all happen!"

"I'd dream that I wasn't at the wedding; that my fiancee wasn't at the wedding; I was stuck on a plane; I was a werewolf; I was a vampire; that I wasn't suitable and her parents hated me; that all my family showed up (that was the worst one)."

One post had a comment that suggested reading travel magazines before bed. I have a few really nice looking ones so maybe I'll try that after I've had some chai tea and have ensured that my supper is tartrazine and sugar-free!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Why did I read that?

Oh dear! I blame my dear friend, Kristy for this. I discovered today that Kristykins has a blog and so I eagerly hopped on and read her posts and my day has been totally changed because of it! She mentioned "Creme brulee".

Two weeks ago, Nix was visiting us from Cape Town and we went to Carnival City where I had the most amazingly perfect Creme Brulee! The sugar was burnt to perfection on top and it wasn't too egg-ey and it was just phenomenal! Oh my word, how I feel like some now!

It is not fair to discuss amazing food whilst the majority of us are stuck at work with our soup and sandwiches and so for anyone I have caused to crave Creme Brulee, or soup and sandwiches for that matter, I apologise. Now go and tell the whole world all about how much you're dying for some and spread the torture :)

Monday, July 11, 2011

Wedding = $$$

I am very much a D.I.Y person when it comes to this wedding planning. There are some things you simply have to outsource to have a decent wedding but the things I am able to do myself, I do.

Some of the people involved in our wedding happen to be friends with particular skills. We requested a quote from them as we would with any supplier as they are pro's at what they do but they were insistent that they wanted to offer their services as a gift to us.
We were really, really lucky here and are very, very greatful to them as they're not just any old someone throwing a cake together or "playing DJ", they either have extensive training or have had years and years of experience, or both.

What I like most about these lovely people is that even though we were very willing to pay them for their services, they didn't see money-signs and decide to exploit us simply because the word "Wedding" was mentioned.

This sadly can't be said for everyone.

Getting married is meant to be exciting and fun and a wonderful experience and while it is, it can also be very stressful when you have a strict budget and you have people try and take advantage and it takes away from the experience. It makes it so much worse when it's not people who have any sort of valuable skill but just try to take chances. I encountered this very situation on Friday and I varied between extremely amused and absolutely horrified the entire weekend. Oh well, I suppose there could be many reasons for it but I don't feel like being subjected to exploitation for any reason and nor will I allow people of that calibre to ruin the experience for us. "Off with his head!" ;)

On the plus side, we chose the flowers this weekend and went back to our venue to look at the lighting and table size again to get some centrepiece ideas. It is so beautiful at night! I absolutely cannot wait!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Wedding website

I have been attempting to do our wedding website for a while now but I either end up with no time or I don't like the look or an aspect of some of the websites on offer or whatever. Eventually I managed to find one that I liked and managed to make some progress.
It is still work in progress but it's a start. For now, I've made it viewable to everyone but once we hand our invites out, I'll be password protecting it.

If you're curious to have a look, go to www.mywedding.com/alanandaudrey

Any bits of advice on how to improve it are welcome!

Yay!!