Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The man with the very weird plan

I have to relay this as it happened as I just happened to answer the phone:

Me: ....good morning
Man: Hi. So, basically in a nutshell, I'm going to an event and I'm going to run across a field and I want to make some money from it so I need to know what to say.
Me; Excuse me?
Man: You know how those people run across the field in the nude and they make a statement, well I want to make a statement and then say something which will then be the complete opposite of what my previous statement was and I want to then get copyright lawyers and coin that phrase to make money.
Me: Oh, Um, yes, Ok, I understand. But what if you get arrested?
Man: I probably will but then people will come to me and I'll make money. I'll also go to gym first and everything and get all buff.
Me: You'll have to run very fast.
Man: Oh, they won't catch me.
Me: O.k, so when are you doing this?
Man: Soon, I can't tell you but you know, at a soccer match
Me: A local soccer match?
Man: I can't tell you
Me: O.k, so you want people to watch you?
Man: Yes. But it must happen naturally, it mustn't be forced.
Me; O.k, so how can we help you? What do you want from us?
Man: I want to know what to say. I want training to look good on camera.
Me: Why don't you go to a casting agency?
Man: No, I want you guys to tell me what to say!
Me: Are you sure you want to do this? Don't you think it would be better to make a statement in another way?
Man: Yes! I want to do it! It'll make me money! I might even give the proceeds to charity.
Me: O.k, well that's nice of you but tell me more about why you're doing this?
Man: No, you want to steal my idea!
Me: Um, no, sir, I have no intention of taking my clothes off. O.k, let me put you through to someone who can help you

Liam: hello?
Me; Liam, there's a streaker on the phone who wants to know what to say
Liam: What?
Me: Just listen to the dude and maybe you can help him
Liam: Ok
He gave him a casting agencies number and told him to phone them.

I emailed my boss the story and she replied saying "Don't get any ideas Audrey - to steal his idea I mean. Best to keep your clothes on - especially as I hear it's v cold!"