Friday, March 2, 2012

The Midget Story - my 15 minutes

I'll cut a long story short and will simply post the article published in todays Star Newspaper. I never thought it would go this far but anyway, the result is rather amusing:

Wanted: a midget to kick ex-lover
March 2 2012 at 07:40am

Comment on this story


A Joburg man has taken to an online forum to request that a midget kick his ex-girlfriend. And he’s quite upset that he isn’t being taken seriously.

Despite the advert being viewed over 2 500 times on the Gumtree website since Monday (the same day his ex ended the relationship) the man, known only as Brett, says he has received replies from the obese and women armed with heels, but no willing little people.

“I was recently dumped and require the services of a midget to go and kick my ex-girlfriend in the shins whilst she is at work,” reads Brett’s bizarre Gumtree advert.

“All you need to do is go into the shop, kick her once (not too hard) in the shin, and leave. I’ll supply all the details needed if you are hired.”

He adds that a friend requires a midget to do flick-flacks and breathe fire at their wedding.

During a phone interview with The Star on Thursday, Brett seemed appalled at the suggestion that his advert might be a joke.

“I clearly took it out because I want my ex-girlfriend to be kicked in the shins,” he said. “Midget revenge is the only form of revenge that works these days.”

He rejected the assertion that his actions were discriminatory towards little people. “F*** if I care,” he said. “They know they are midgets. I’m not being politically correct about this.”

He took a similar stance on violence. “Violence would be if I asked the midget to kick her hard and then set her on fire.”

Brett, who works for a Sandton marketing company, said on Sunday, the day before he was dumped, had been his ex’s birthday. They had been dating for two months and he had bought her an expensive baking book. But when she dumped him, he couldn’t take it back because he had written her name in it.

This delightful young man, who claims to have the body of Brad Pitt and the personality of “everyone awesome ever”, did receive a response to his advert, which he rejected.

A woman called Audrey replied, thinking the advert was a joke. She said she was relatively short and had spiky heels she could use to hit Brett’s ex.

“Sometimes I’ve bad days and perhaps giving someone a mild kicking would help,” she added. Brett said: “If you’re not a midget, you’re a waste of time and space. Sorry. Declined.”

After a lengthy e-mail interchange between the two in which clowns and making people cry was discussed, Audrey decided Brett was more rude than funny. She posted the following response advert on Gumtree.

“A very angry man recently dumped is suffering from severe anger issues and in need of some serious therapy. He also has midget fetishes and as a result is suffering from poor social skills and needs some help to adjust into normal society.

“Please help this poor man to get over his issues as there aren’t many midgets out there and he’ll end up feeling lost and lonely.”

Brett claims he is a serious man and continues to seek an answer to his advert. - The Star.

I have since received numerous responses to my own gumtree ad and they've been very funny :)

I often think that we get bored because we just sit there and let things happen around us and life is always more interesting if we create memories. I just didn't think that this would be one of those times :D